There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory.

Mark Twain

According the Daily Express (UK), British Children’s Secretary Girde Urloins Ed Balls yesterday announced an 800 million dollar plan to “put 20,000 problem families under 24-hour CCTV super-vision in their own homes.” The families will be monitored to ensure that the at-risk children attend school, go to bed on time, and wipe their asses properly. Okay, I made that last bit up, but not the first two bits: the UK government has announced a plan to install closed circuit video cameras in the homes of its citizens to make sure that they go to bed on time. You couldn’t make this shit up. Unless your name was Eric Blair, obviously. (That’s George Orwell for those of you scoring at home.) Normally I’d finish this up with some snark about how the UK’s become a hamster in a wheel third world socialist shithole, but things here are no better. Sooner rather than later we’re all going to be stooped over in the rice fields meeting the quota for a five year agricultural plan developed by some recent Harvard grad. Hopefully I’ll be dead by then and they can only use me for fertilizer.

Jean Parker Shepherd

July 26, 1921 – October 16, 1999

“You’ll shoot your eye out.”

“If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne (d. July 18, 1969) would be 62 years old. Through his tireless work as a legislator, Edward Kennedy would have brought comfort to her in her old age.”
– Charles Pierce, the Boston Globe, speaking truth to power

During his recent visit to to France for a series of meeting designed to combat global warming, it was President Obama’s own er temperature that seemed about to rise. And neither does this interest in European climes seem an isolated event.

No doubt it was hard on the president being away from his loved ones. And although I’m sure he remains assiduously committed to saving the planet, it’s somewhat unclear what sort of emissions he’s hoping committed to reduce.

Anyway, what better time than the G8 to re visit the Weasels prescient Bulldoze the Moon, a paean to the Earth Mother Gaia, and not at a vulgar and tawdry song about how much we like women’s asses.

Enjoy a free download: Bulldoze the Moon

Evidently, if this hot blond chick opens her mouth just a little wider and is able to swallow the new mind-blowing long and juicy mayonnaise laden seven incher from Burger King, it’ll blow her mind.

yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with the old windows of the posadas glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down Jo me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

Chastity Bono is undergoing a sex change and becoming a man, her publicist announced Thursday. The gender-swap process began shortly after Bono’s 40th birthday in March and more than a decade after she came out as a lesbian. The newly christened Chaz, the only child of singing duo Sonny and Cher, will have gender reassignment surgery, according to Us magazine.

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